I’m sitting right now in my sweltering apartment. With the strange spring weather alongside my 475 degree oven, it’s a little too hot to handle.
Last summer it was also hot. Too hot, actually. Though I hate to be cold, I abhor being too hot. I feel puffy, sticky, and my fingers grow strangely rotund. Make-up melts off my face as I apply it. Clothing just feels wrong. Before last summer, I did not take to white wine. But with the high heat, it was all I wanted alongside dinner. The wine grew hot pretty fast and the glass perspired, but those few first sections were all I needed.
Speaking of melting (as in, melts in your mouth, not in your hand), it is time to unwrap an American classic: the M&M. I also wanted to keep things relatively cheap, by buying budget wine and candy. Initially, I wanted to do something crazy like buy Arbor Mist and the 99 cent bag of jelly beans. But this blog is supposed to bring joy, not unending stomach aches. And we’re not in college any more, so there is no excuse for that type of behavior.
So, stop the world and melt with me (buddum cha!).
The Wine: yellow tail, Riesling: $7.49
That tail is orange!
The Candy: M&M Coconut & M&M Pretzels. 2 for $6
I have a lot of complicated feelings about sentient candy people.
I knew Rieslings were sweet, but I did not know the exact nature of their sweetness. But yellow tail is a fairly good budget wine, a step above Barefoot but not quite as good as Cupcake. I’m sure if my dad reads this, he’ll say: wait, YOU DRANK YELLOW TAIL? HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING! And I’d have to say yes. I love my dad, but when he talks about wine, I sort of start thinking about whatever I’m looking at. Like oh, look at this salt shaker. Way to do your thing salt shaker.
Yeah wine glass, you sweat it off
But we’re off topic, probably because I’m overheated. I saw the coconut M&Ms at my work’s convenient store and immediately I started to plot pairing them. Coconut is tricky, because it can be understated or incredibly sweet. Yet if it was just the right amount of sweet, something beautiful would happen.
I felt very confident about the pretzels, although it is sort of cheating. I mean, is a pretzel covered in chocolate really a candy? Since we were still in the M&M territory, I think I’m covered. But that got me thinking–do I have parameters in this blog? Should I have some? Dear readers, let me know.
The wine isn’t that sweet. It is actually like eating a grape. I know how ridiculous this sounds, since this is wine we are talking about. But it felt like taking a bite of a green grape. Although it wasn’t tangy, just refreshing.
The M&M pretzel took me for a spin. The salt plus the understated chocolate and candy coating truly took the Riesling to a different level. It enhanced it. Each one on their own would have been fine, but the flavors combined were complimentary. By complimentary, I mean a bite or sip of one led directly to a bite or sip of the other.
The M&M coconut would benefit from something spicier, like a Malbec. The coconut inside the M&M tasted like chocolate coconut–it didn’t pop on its own. Which is all very well and good, but it was too thick to bring out the qualities of a Riesling. I plan to revisit the challenges coconut bring, but maybe by just making macaroons.
So there we have it! Another long overdue post. I recently bought a Groupon for a bunch of wine I hope to pick up this weekend, so let’s have high hopes. In the mean time, perhaps I’ll prepare something to post on St. Patty’s Day. Maybe some Jr. Mints? What say ye?
Also, I want to do a vegan post, but I need your help. Picking a vegan candy blind is a bit dangerous. And vegan wine…do we have thoughts, recommendations?